Beta Gentle Parenter vs Chad Toddlers

I have toddler twin sons, and they can be a handful. Today, I had to go to the bathroom while at a popular splash pad. Dragging them along can sometimes devolve into a nightmare as they play with the toilet paper, crawl around on the ground, or try to open the door mid-deuce. But, I really had to go and did not think I would make it home first. So, into the bathroom we went.

Now, they’ve seen my penis before, so I don’t know why today was the day that they decided to notice that it was “different” from theirs. They are not circumcised and I am. We’re in the bathroom/changing room, which has several people going in and out, and I start to pee. Immediately, one of my sons yells: “DADDY! IT LOOKS LIKE A HOTDOG! “The other one starts to yell along: “WHY DO YOU HAVE A HOTDOG DAD” The snickering from other bathroom visitors begins. We practice gentle parenting and a variety of other modern techniques, so rather than telling them to stop, I simply say, “My penis is just different from yours. “That didn’t satisfy them, and they just kept yelling things like: “DADDY HAS A HOTDOG PENIS! “The laughter grows. “That hurts Daddy’s feelings, “I say. “DADDY HAS A HOTDOG PENIS!!!!!!!!” comes their reply. Thanks Janet Lansbury.

I finish peeing and put my penis away, when one of them then shouts: “000000! YOU DIDN’T WIPE IT! I’M TELLING MOMMY! “I have no idea where this came from; they don’t wipe their penises either. Maybe hotdog dicks are different in their minds and should be wiped. At any rate, any attempt to politely stifle laughter from my fellow bathroom compatriots has ended and everyone is now openly guffawing. I walk out of the bathroom, toddlers in tow, with my head hung in shame

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