Broken promises

Broken promises. I’ve had it happen to me so much growing up as a kid and through out my adult life, and that’s been so painful and its happened so much, that it had come to darken and confuse my perception in a promises true value and power. That is you leaving someone excited and expecting, and then hurting and actually taking from them when you don’t come through, especially without sound explanation and love and compassion behind ones own inability to perform that promise. These broken promises still hurt me in certain events, as it does take something, it does leave you hanging, and I still have it happen to me lots. I’m taking it now as a hint that I’ve not been aligning myself properly, and also a hint that these things I’ve tried to align myself with, well, maybe they were never necessary in my own true path. I hold compassion for those who can’t follow through, but I get hurt when it happens with no sound explanation, or if the person lies (you can feel when they do), or without even a chat to check in, I just get left hanging.
In all of this, in my own hardships of these events, I’ve lost my own boundaries in holding up some promises I’ve made. What had become my lack of belief in a promise is my own path of destruction, now happening in all directions. For those I’ve made promises to and didn’t hold up, I’m sorry. Im sorry you got caught in my fog and my forgetfulness, I’m sorry you got caught up in my own inability to recognize the levels of love and respect I was breaking and hurting, or even ones excitement. It hurts me to know I ever let anyone down in ways that have always hurt me, and I’m sorry to all those I’ve affected. This includes my own self, the parts of myself I’ve lied to, as yes, I’ve come to lose such feeling in the world of promises that I’ve come to all too often feed parts of myself lies, and I’m now dealing with the fact my own body doesn’t trust me, and that I have a hard time holding faith and trust in myself.
Promises are important, and while they can be broken, they must be broken properly with heart and full compassion and understanding for not only the other person but your own self. These are boundaries I must fix now in all directions. I must protect myself and make sure I’m properly aligning myself to ensure the connections I’m allowing into my field fully understand, support, and hold respect for me. I must ensure that when I make a promise to myself as well, I follow through. On the other end, I must make sure I recognize the power I agree to hold in my own hands when I make another person a promise, and I must recognize that a part of that person is depending on me to do right for that part of them that looks forward to the result of said promise.
I need to start on my own end of things, healing the part of me that has had her hopes and faith broken by others, as well as my own, broken promises to her. I need to do this before I can make too many promises to others around me. I need to heal this energy channel from the ground up, so please hold patience with me. There are things I must rewrite right now.

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