Too many people start their day by smearing shit on themselves instead of spending $20 on a bidet.
Got poo on you? Bidet.
A little constipated? Enema via bidet.
In the mood for a naughty tickle? Bidet.
Homemade water fountain? Bidet.
Need to blast the literal asshole off an enemy? Full power on the bidet.
I can’t think of any problem in this world that can’t be solved with a bidet. Buy one, you filthy savages.