Now, I know this title sounds wacky (probably because it’s a joke) but hear me out, around a month ago I got a discord DM from the United States government. (and they proved it was them by telling me what my current location is.) they told me that they wanted to secretly do population control since they’re worried about over population. When I tried to deny their offer they showed me the inside of government facility where they have bombs, and a huge computer set for the coordinates where my house is, threatening to press it if I didn’t accept. So, since I didn’t want to die, I accepted their offer. A few days after the interaction I had a package sent to my house with an FBI notice on it that if anyone other than me opens it that they’ll be put on a wanted list. When I opened it in my room it had a laser gun, and estrogen.
tl;dr the government wants me to kill people with a laser gun and is paying me in estrogen.