I remember the first time I was sexually propositioned by a gorilla.

I remember the first time I was sexually propositioned by a gorilla.

I was at the local zoo that day, as I was every weekend. I usually got there an hour before the zoo opened, just so I could be first in line. There usually wasn’t much of a line, but I wanted to be first. I wanted him to see me first. Who is “him,” you ask? The alpha male in the gorilla enclosure, of course.

I would stand at the edge of his enclosure, and just admire him. The way he would beat his chest would get me so hot and bothered, my pants would become uncomfortably tight. I would have to excuse myself to the bathroom to clean up, but I would be right back there, watching him. I would usually stay until the zoo closed, and then I would be right back the next weekend. The way he looked at me while he asserted himself to the females of the troop made me know he wanted me, and I knew I had to let him have me.

Well, eventually I managed to hide in the zoo’s bathroom after it closed, and I knew I had my chance. Around midnight, I hopped the fence into the alpha male’s pen, and made my move. I turned around, removed my clothes, and slowly backed myself into him. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes, lest it upset him. He started hooting at me, and I knew things were going well. I could feel his hot breath on the underside of my testicles. The moment I had been waiting on had finally arrived. I could hear his breathing as he forcibly bent me over and mounted me, and then I took him, all of him, inside of me. A few powerful pumps and it was all over. I lay there, wishing I was a gorilla lady so I could be pregnant with his child.

A man can dream.

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