I unironically wrote this in a discord server today

Every time I join a vc in this server, it feels as if I’m put into a time chamber, where time is accelerated, and 4 hours go by in 5 minutes. I literally lose all track of time and I can never keep up with any of the conversations, probably because every time a new conversation is started, it derails into a complete and utter shitshow after no more than 10 entire sentences. However, there are those rare moments, moments of bliss if you will, when the chaos ends and everyone’s just super reasonable and nice. No beef whatsoever, just chill ass vibes. I love it 🙂

Just wanted to share that real quick, I guess this is what people refer to as a “schizo rant” or whatever, I don’t really care, I have conversations with myself all the time. Even while writing this whole message in Microsoft Word before posting it on this discord text channel, I’m actively engaging in egocentric speech as though it was necessary in order for me to successfully write out sentences on the computer. It certainly isn’t required, I just do it because if I don’t, I start getting highly anxious due to my inability to sit in silence. That had nothing to do with anything, so I’m sorry about that. Ok “schizo rant” over, I guess???

Update: I’ve spent 30 minutes on writing this one message, and I’ve just come to the realization, that what I’m doing is incredibly cringe. Why do I feel so insecure about making a simple text message in a public discord server, where in the grand scheme of things, nothing as trivial as what I’m talking about has any real consequences, not to my understanding at least. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. Should I seek therapy? Don’t answer that, I already know perfectly well that there’s nothing wrong with me, and pretending otherwise would be attention seeking. I would also be doing a disservice to those who are in actual need of such support. This is where I should end the message, right? Yeah, I should.

tldr: I forgot what I was initially saying and went a pointless tangent. You may ignore all of that.

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