I was betrayed by my own ass

I was betrayed by my own ass. There was a decent fart leading the charge, but a liquidy, half-diarrhea shit snuck in behind leading me to believe I had a truly epic fart in the chamber. You can hear for about a half second just pure stinky butt air, but it rapidly gives way to the oatmeal consistency stowaway. This is a shart that easily could’ve been caught had I been alone, but in an effort to add some theatrics to my gas attack and with the spin adding to the centrifugal force pulling the slimy doody out of my ass I pushed too hard to amplify the volume and filled my pants with a dirty, stinky hot fudge sundae.

But I did succeed in what I’m sure was one of my goals, make my family smell my fart and be grossed out by it. Not only was the little bit of fart I gave festering and loitering next to my pond scum looking and sounding shit, I pushed that sewage out as well ensuring the room smelled like someone took a dump right there in the kitchen… because someone actually did.

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