masiv penos

So, I’m a blind man. I’m at the grocery store feeling my way around by using my gigantic dick as a walking cane, as usual. I can hear a woman in the aisle telling her husband, “I really need to fart but I’m scared my butt plug will shoot out and kill another small child.”

Her husband tells her, “Bitch, if you fart anywhere but daddy’s mouth, you’re going back in the Lube Goldberg machine.” But I can tell she didn’t listen because I hear what sounds like a cork exiting a champagne bottle followed by another woman screaming, “Braydynn! No! Nooooo!”

Butt plug lady starts scooting her ass on the ground like a dog and yelling “Lord! Fuck my ass like I’m Mary! Banish this bootyhole baphomet!” Of course, I slip on the shit streak and, wouldn’t you know it, my massive cock, under no control of my own, collides with a shelf, starting a domino effect that knocks over every single shelf in the store.

As the dust clears, it becomes obvious that I’m the only living person left in the store. And that’s the story of how I got a free lifetime supply of Bagel Bites.

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