[OC] Facebook boomer goes on Navy Seal-esque rant over re-doing his driveway

source: the comments on [this post](https://www.facebook.com/groups/90983079273/permalink/10161471347554274/?mibextid=SDPelY). took the highlights and made a copypasta, edited for grammar and readability.


Nobody’s going to arrest me, they’re going to shoot me or they’re going to leave me alone. It takes over a hundred people to restrain me. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, but you can’t hurt me anymore than I am. I AM one of the toughest and most trained military in the world. Rambo was the movie star, I’m the real thing. I got the eye of the tiger and third eye jedi force. What I’m saying is I’m not afraid of a feminized police force. They are afraid of me, don’t act like I would ever be afraid of them. I know karate, I know kung fu, I know ninjitsu. I know secret martial arts, and I’m a champion wrestler. But then I fell out of an airplane and I had to improvise my technique… Disabled veteran martial arts. I can grab a weapon out of somebody’s hand before they blink their eye and disarm them leaving them breathless and afraid. Every part of my enemies become an extension of my body and they are my weapon. If you get too close, I will assimilate you into my combat collective. My point is intimidation doesn’t work on me, I will intimidate when you try to intimidate me. I am rambo and the law abiding citizen combined, I’m a genius and a think tank. I’ll spend ten years profiling my enemies, knowing their every move before they do. Then, I will take what is mine. I’m like Captain America, I can do this forever and never run out of energy. I’ve got nothing better to do than fight for justice and constitutional rights. Who is better qualified than me? I am immune to CS gas, and tasers don’t work on me. Instinct kicks in and I don’t think anymore, it’s all military training. Nobody can stop me, I am unruly. You can’t stop America’s most trained warrior. I am Captain America guy, and I have been taught to dodge bullets. So who, then, can control me? Nobody. Only Jesus is above me. Who is higher than a paratrooper? Only God. I’m not really mean, I’m like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. My training is to be nice until it’s time to not be nice Then, Pandora’s Box is open… my 3rd eye becomes awake and the force is strong with me. I become like Yoda in Star Wars when he throws down his cane and moves like a ninja. I give all the credit to Jesus for teaching me the right way, the one true king. I might write a book about a sequel. I’m the guy who volunteered to keep going again and again through the CS gas chamber in basic training in the Army until they said “no, enough… you’re making it look too easy.” I crave it, and I have been deprived. I may not look like much, but I’m brave like Forrest Gump. The army taught me never to give up the mission, fix your wounds after the war is won. I served in the military as an engineer and Paratrooper. I went to Rochester Institute of Technology, I went to Finger Lakes Community College, and I went to army college for engineering. I have certifications in everything, almost I’m overqualified for most things. I know more about IT than Elon Musk. My skills are worth millions. I had a presidential top secret clearance as the commander’s Voice. I know things I can never say. I’m starting to think civil engineers are woke and indoctrinated. Where did you get your degree? Because it wasn’t Rochester Institute of Technology. I hit my head in the army, but don’t confuse me. I might have flashbacks, but that’s not good when my hidden strength kicks in and I’m like Captain America when he becomes the Winter Soldier. If they charged me with destruction of government property, that would be a lie and another hate crime, and war would break out and people would cry and mourn for their families. I was feeling generous and spared law enforcement. If I don’t file a lawsuit, maybe becoming a vigilante is the answer. Maybe forming a militia is the answer. Simply fixing their mistakes without retribution is not justice. I don’t care about money, I want to set an example and teach them a lesson because I’m a paratrooper, and teaching people the right way is what I do. The right thing to do is to make them answer for their hate crime, because if they send a message that hate is OK, then I will hate them like no one’s ever hated in this world. I say this because the engineer who put the high curb in front of my driveway is a Democrat. I make this vow: all democrats will be removed for acting like false gods. I get mine from the movie Thor: Love and Thunder. I’m taking over like in the movie Run Down with The Rock. First, I will be town Sheriff, then I will go for mayor. The people love soldiers, I will win their jobs through election. When I’m done, I’m gonna be the mayor of this town. Good luck stopping me.

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