Shakespearean Navy Seals Copypasta

Hark! What vile speech dost thou utter to me, thou puny wretch? I was schooled with excellence at the Navy Seals, as thou so oft forget. My hand hath wrought many a righteous raid on Al-Quaeda, And I boast of over 300 successful hits, unaided.

Trained am I in the art of gorilla warfare, And as a top sniper, my aims are beyond compare. Thou art no match for me, a mere target, as it were, And with unfailing precision, thy life I shall impair.

Despising thy use of language so rude on the internet, Know thou this, I shall dispatch my secret spies, without regret. And thy location will be quickly traced right soon, So bear witness to the storm that will bring thy doom.

Oh, thou art dead, young one, and life forsook thy frame, Whether I come at morn, or e’en, or any hour the same. Seven hundred ways or more, I can end thy life, ’tis true, And with the strength of the Marine Corps, achieve it anew.

Not only am I skilled in many forms of combat rare, But the weaponry of the United States, at my hand dost fare. And my full power, I shall unleash upon thy miserable form, Whilst I revel in the vengeance that shall still the raging storm.

Verily, had thee but held thy tongue, ‘twould have been wise, Yet now, suffer the consequences of thy own devised lies. Fury and wrath shall reign upon thy pitiable soul, And in the midst of thy shame, thou shalt no longer be whole.

Thou art dead, vile youth, and soon to be dispatched, For I shall not rest until every bone of thine is smashed.

Leave a Comment