So you thought you wouldn’t have to learn about WWII huh?

I’m now going to ruin your day. You know how you thought you wouldn’t ever learn about World War II, well guess what bucko, I’m a Military Historian, and I specialize in Germany 1871-1991. Strap yourself in, because I’m about to use the Education part of my degree to get you some top quality fucking education.

First of: The most important part of any fucking war is when the it began. Well, this war is a bit complicated in that regard, it depends on which theater you’re talking. Now, for the god damn Nazis, the war began with the invasion of Poland in 1939. This was after a period of Nazification in Germany, which while very interesting to study, is outside the scope of this class. The invasion of Poland finally convinced the lazy ass French and British that appeasement didn’t work to enter the war (you would’ve thought they knew that after you know… appeasement kept failing, but hey they just got done with another fucking World War so their hesitation is understandable). Now, we’re just going to stay in Europe, and I’ll give you the History of the Pacific Theater later. So! Nazi’s invade Poland! They overtake the country incredibly quickly, and Hitler, not having foreseen the Entente to grow a pair and object to his invasion of Poland had to quickly mobilize in the Western Front. Poland however, did not just roll over and die, in fact the Siege of Warsaw lasted 20 days, a length of time no country though Poland would be able to hold out for. The city fell on the 28th of September 1939 (the siege spawned this wonderful song from Sabaton: [40:1]( Memorize this band, they are pretty neat because all their songs are firmly history based).

Now, before we get into the invasion of France we need to look at the third “Faction” in the war. The allies are generally called the US, the UK, France, and the Soviet Union (with other minor powers). Now, you notice earlier in the lecture I called the alliance of France and the UK the Entente, that is because calling them the allies at this point is incorrect. The reason why it is incorrect however, surprises many people. Those damn commies in the Soviet Union started World War II on the side of the Germans. They paired up with Germany to invade Poland (and the Baltic states) under the mutual understanding that they would not invade each other (fingers crossed on both sides). The term for this alliance was the Soviet-German Pact, however it is more popularly known for the masterminds behind the negotiations: The Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. This pact detailed the temporary alliance and treaty of non-aggression between the Third Reich. In exchange, the two countries would invade Poland, and the Soviet Union would also get to invade the Baltic States. The two agreed upon a predetermined border between the two superpowers which allowed Germany to reconquer all of the territory the German Empire (The Second Reich) lost in World War I, as well as a little bit extra. The Soviets got to recapture some land they lost when the Russia surrendered to German and Austria during World War I (because the Soviets were busy holding Revolutions). This alliance was always meant by both sides to eventually be broken, however both sides assumed *they* would be the ones to break it. This proved incorrect.

Back to Germany: After the fall of Poland and the mobilization of the Western forces, Germany began the invasion of France. In true German Style they went through Belgium (and the Netherlands this time). This time however, the Germans were not invading on foot, they had the full might of Blitzkrieg, the use of quick tanks and motorized infantry to quickly secure territory as fast as they could invade it. The invasion of France began in May of 1940, and one of the Superpowers of Europe fell six weeks later, in June of 1940. For context of how quickly this war was compared to the last World War: It took the German army six weeks to get through BELGIUM, this time they went through Belgium, the Netherlands, and secured France in the same period of time. What the ever living fuck changed!? France used to have one of the strongest militarys in the world after all!

Well, France was betrayed by her own people, specifically her own conservatives. At this time, the French were in the midst of a very long period of very crippling strikes (amazing how things change over time isn’t it?). France was on the cusp of having the conservative government overthrown by the Communists in the country. The conservatives then, instead of falling from power did what most rich people do and sold the fuck out to the Nazis. The deal was, once France was under Nazi control, the Conservatives would be given a puppet government over a smaller France, and the Nazis will do what they are incredibly good at and remove all dissenting political parties. This was the birth of the Vichy France government, so called because the new capital of France was to be in the city of Vichy, as opposed to the now occupied city of Paris. Vichy consisted of south France while the Nazis took northern France and the north coast all the way to Spain. The Nazis then fortified the SHIT out of that coast, it was a never ending wall of fortresses designed specifically to ruin any Brits day as they tried to invade France to liberate the country. This is also when the Siege of Dunkirk began.

So, what was Dunkirk? Dunkirk was a French coastal city, and the site of the largest Naval evacuation in history has ever occurred. The remains of the French army, and pretty much the entire European part of the British Army were stuck, with the sea behind them, and 800,000 Germans in front of them… and to the sides of them… and above them occasionally dropping bombs. There were 400,000 Entente troops encircled at the city, and the loss of that army would’ve prevented the Entente from being able to muster any significant support for any liberation campaigns for years, if not decades. On the German’s side: It seemed as if there was no way the Entente could salvage Dunkirk, and so the Germans urged their surrender as they focused the Luftwaffe on occasionally doing bombing runs to keep morale low, and attempting to sink any ships which were trying to supply the area. The message was clear: Surrender or Starve (we’ll be hearing that phrase again shortly). The British, in all their tea-drinking, genocide causing, Empire building, BRASS FUCKING BALLS, told the Germans to fuck *right* the hell off, and mobilized the Civilian Marine. A small armada of literal leisure yachts, many captained by British Patriots, not Sailors, rushed to the coasts and began an evacuation. The British evacuated their entire army in 8 days, and spent another day and half to rescue as many French Soldiers as they could. Overall: 340,000 troops were evacuated in the last week of May, and the first week of June. It is unprecedented, and remains the most fantastic evacuation of troops by sea in History (See *Dunkirk* the 2017 movie which has only *1* Historical inaccuracy in its presentation, the best History movie of the new Millennia I have yet seen (Saving Private Ryan was in 1998), and it isn’t American War Wank. Its British War Wank). However, not all made it out, about 40,000 French, Belgian, and Dutch troops were captured by the Germans as the defensive line collapse, and the Germans swarmed the Beaches. There was no reason why the Germans should’ve let the British leave, they had the ability to absolutely crush the defenses and capture the whole army, so why didn’t they? The current operating Theory is that Hitler thought of the British as a very Aryan race, they were a people as close to Aryan as you could get without ACTUALLY being Aryan, and the idea was that Hitler wanted to pursue peace with the UK, a real peace, not one like with the Soviets. They wanted to form an alliance. And rumor has it: Many of the British aristocracy agreed, but papers from the meetings, discussions, and debates about the issue are not set to be declassified by the UK till 2040. So while *I* may be alive to read and write on them, many won’t be, and that is sad.

So, where are we now? France has fallen, the Germans and the Soviets are allied with each other, and the British have no way to retake France and no hope of fighting back against the Germans besides hunkering down like a motherfucking Turtle. So that is exactly what they do. This is the beginning of the Battle of Britian, one of my favorite Air Battles in History as the RAF and the Luftwaffe square off over the Channel. The objective of the Germans: Shock and Awe, break the British will to fight. The objective of the British: Turtle, wait for the Americans (that’s not Jingoism either, that really was the British Military Strategy at the time). The Battle of Britain was no quick battle like Poland or France, this slog lasted from July to Halloween 1940. Daily air raids on major British Cities, constant air battles of the Channel, night bombings, dog fights, pure unadulterated FUCKING. AVIATION. PORN. It was a clash of Air Forces, and neither side was able to claim Victory. The Germans didn’t break the British (this is where “Keep Calm and Carry On” came from), and the British weren’t able to convince the Americans to get their ass in gear. The end of the fight saw the Germans losing 1900 aircraft, and the British lost 1750. However: 40,000 British Civilians were killed in bombing raids, and 50,000 more were wounded. It was also during this time when kids were sent from cities to be temporarily adopted in the country side, and was the context behind the start of *The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe* movie, which I highly recommend, not for history, but because its cool.

So… we got much more of Europe to go! After all, this is still 1940, and we haven’t even talked about Italy yet! Onward if desired! Because this took a lot of time, and most don’t like History.

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