Via the team groupchat

i hope you wake up one morning after having the best dream of your life, like a dream so good you actually feel it. a dream of complete divinity. its a cool breezy summer morning, birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and everything in life is fine. You go to the kitchen and there’s bacon, eggs, toast, and everything tastes perfect. its a meal that completely satisfies you without you feeling too full. Then, when you go back to your room, the baddest bitch you know sends you a titty pic and a video of her rubbing her pussy. and then you beat your shit for a half hour and its the best nut of your life. i then hope you’re shitting on kids in 2k for two more hours. its not hot and you’re hungry again so you get food. you decide to walk to some sushi. that sushi is the best meal of your life. you can taste how juicy the sauce and the fish is, while the rest adds a savory, salty flavor. the waitress starts flirting with you and you hit it off. you get her number and life is good. you pay the bill and tip her extra. then, right as you walk out the door, an 87 year old woman calls you a dirty porch monkey

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