Do you like to watch soccer? Do you find it okay to sit in your seat and watch your match peacefully? Then you’re a fucking pussy. I’m Dicky Cockson and things are about to change. Because I’m introducing vuvuzelas! They look like cheap sex toys, but they’re longer and you can make noise that resembles a beehive, but way more frustrating. Some people might think they are a waste of plastic and have no purpose whatsoever. Lemme tell you they’re fucking asshole and show you the other purposes of these shit. Check this out. You can spread your asscheeks and shove it off your asshole, then call one of your friends to do the Slovakian traffic cone thing or put somewhere, forget about it and remember it years later and tell everyone how noisy, eerie and fucky they were and how did they pop out around the World Cup and faded into obscurity after that. And then we will come to your house, find that fucking thing and impale your asshole with it. Buy now our fucking product for 49.99, so ~~we can spend that money on gambling~~ you can have fun with it. But we’re not done yet. What else did you think, you stupid bitch? If you call this number now, we’ll double the amount of vuvuzela, just for your sexual pleasure and your neighbors calling the police because you just wouldn’t get rid of that feeling. So what are you waiting for? Call our number and get your vuvuzela right now!

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