Captain America: “Don’t worry guys, I’ve seen these Russians before. I’ve seen Stalin, Putin doesn’t stand a chance”. *Throws shield at russian soldier, snapping his spine*.
Thor: “This looks like a job for me” “not so fast!!!” says Falcon. “These aren’t just your everyday criminal. These are russian soldiers, I’ve seen them use their bow. You’re gonna need more than your hammer” “You’re sure about that?” Thor says, hitting Sergey Lavrov with lightning.
Black Widow: *Enters NATO headquarters* Head of NATO: “Please, save us Black Widow, we can give you anything you need” BW: “I only need one thing” NATO: “What is it?” BW: “Courage. Oh, and a couple guns if you can spare some” she wisecracks.
Black Panther: “I know what it’s like to avoid the world for all these years like you avoided Russia president Zelensky” This is followed by a thunderous “Yibambe!” chant as tens of thousands of Wakandans converge on the ukranian border.
Spider-Man: Enters the Kremlin through a web-sling from the top of St.Basil’s cathedral, swooping into president Putin’s office. “Sorry for Putin ya into this sticky situation mr president” Spider-Man says, putting Putin in a web stuck to the wall of his Kremlin office. Putin breaks free as Spider-Man let’s his guard down.
Iron Man: “Remind me to not invite you to the next mission, kid.”
Hulk: “HULK DESTROY PUTIN” he yells, running right through the Kremlin wall. As Putin tries to flee , he picks up Putin by his shirt collar.
“Nice army, Vlad, but what you failed to consider is that we have the Hulk” Iron Man says. The iron legion steps in to aid the citizens of Kyiv, to the cheers of the entire world.