Friends, Women, females, lend me your ears;
I come to bury your doubts, not to confirm them.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with me. The noble I
Hath told you I was a nice guy:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath I answer’d it.
Here, under leave of sullen, evil men and the rest–
For I am an honourable man;
So am I such, such an honourable man–
Come I to speak in Men’s place.
They were my friend, faithful and just to me:
But They say they were looking for nudes and are impressive in bed;
And Im sure they are honourable men.
They hath brought many captives home to Their house,
Whose women did their needs not be met:
Did this in Them seem impressive?
When that the women have cried, They hath’n’t
Respect should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet They say they were respectful;
And they are honourable men.
You all did see that on the Facebook thread
I thrice defended a lady like you,
Which you did thrice refuse: was this courteous?
Yet you all say you like kind men;
And, sure, chads are honourable men.
I speak not to disprove what they spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love me once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to ban me after my $4000 donation?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with my wallet,
And I must pause till it come back to me.