Not mine, credit goes to
u/TheRealLifeJesus
OBIWAN: Well, Anakin, I made it… despite your directions.
ANAKIN: Ah, Master Obi wan! Welcome! I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable war!
OBIWAN: Uhh…
ANAKIN: [gasp] Oh egads, my wife is going to die! But what if… I were to use the dark side of the force and prevent the ones I care about from dying? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho… delightfully devilish, Anakin!
OBIWAN: Uh-
[cue song] Anakin Skywalker with his crazy explanations, Master Kenobi’s gonna need his medication, When he hears Anakin’s lame exaggerations, There’ll be trouble in town tonight! [end of song]
OBIWAN: Anakin!!!!
ANAKIN: Master Obi-wan, I was just, uh… just having a chat with senator Palpatine. Pure conjecture! Care to join me?
OBIWAN: Why did Palpatine just turn the republic into an empire?
ANAKIN: Uhh… no! That isn’t an empire. It’s a republic. A republic ruled by the senate! Mmm… democracy! [beat] Ooh… [a few moments later]
ANAKIN: Master Obi-wan, I hope you’re ready for mouthwatering “saving the one you love dying!”
OBIWAN: I thought you weren’t supposed to love as a Jedi?
ANAKIN: D’oh, no. I’m not supposed to have attachments as a Jedi! That’s what I call Love!
OBIWAN: You call having no attachments, “Love”?
ANAKIN: Yes. It’s a regional dialect!
OBIWAN: Uh-huh… uh, what region?
ANAKIN: Uhh… the outer rim?
OBIWAN: Really? Well, I’m from Stewjon, and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase “Love” instead of attachments.
ANAKIN: Oh, not in Stewjon, no. It’s a Tatooine expression.
OBIWAN: I see. [beat] You know, this ideology is quite similar to the ones they have at the order of the Sith.
ANAKIN: Oh ho ho ho… no, patented Anakin Skywalker idea. Old family recipe.
OBIWAN: For having no attachments?
ANAKIN: Yes.
OBIWAN: Yeah, so you call it “saving the one you love” despite the fact it is obviously a sith manipulation.
ANAKIN: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
OBIWAN: Of course.
ANAKIN: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I’m pooped.
OBIWAN: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
[Jedi temple smoking]
ANAKIN: …Jedi uprising?
OBIWAN: Uh- Jedi uprising!? At this time of year, at the end of a war, in this part of the galaxy, localized entirely within a temple!?
ANAKIN: Yes!
OBIWAN: …May I see it?
ANAKIN: …No.
PADAWANS : Master skywalker! What are we going to do?!
ANAKIN: ignites lightsaber
OBIWAN: Well, Anakin, you are an odd fellow, but I must say… you know how to save the ones you love.
PADAWANS: Help! Help!